Little Warders
Jonathan Hunter writes: The cabaret act below was performed at Kirkby 2001. It's a parody of part of the opening number of Act II (Yeomen), composed by us in the afternoon at Kirkby.
The "Little Warders" are a reference to the Yeomen who were deemed unsuitable to dance with the women in the Act II finale dance. Aimee [The Director – Ed] singled out various men as being too small to properly lift up a woman in the dance, and these men were relegated to stand on the stairs etc. Hence the "short arsed warders" song, and the shoes on our knees and shortened pikes when we did the act in Kirkby.
The lucky participants were:
Women: Linda Howard, Alison Pickering, Rosamond Joseph
Men: Jonathan Hunter, Mahinda Kularatne, James McLaren, Chris Yate
WOMEN:
Little warders are ye!
Whom do ye ward?
Because you are short, he is free – he is free!
Whom do ye ward?
Little warders are ye!
MEN:
Going down and in and out,
Here and there and roundabout,
Every cupboard on the floor,
3 foot seven and no more,
Every crevice in the keep,
Where a leprechaun could creep,
Ev'ry outlet, ev'ry drain,
Have we searched, but all in vain, all in vain!
WOMEN:
Warders are ye?
Not very tall!
MEN:
Ev'ry house, ev'ry chink, ev'ry drain,
WOMEN:
Warders are ye?
Not very tall!
MEN:
Ev'ry chamber, ev'ry outlet,
Have we searched, but all in vain.
WOMEN:
Night has spread her pall once more,
And the pris'ner still is free:
MEN:
Warders are we! Not very tall!
Not very tall!
Bereft of all height! Really quite small!
Really quite small!
WOMEN:
You can't reach his dungeon door,
Useless your dungeon key!
ALL:
Because we/they are short, he is free, he is free!
MEN:
Little warders are we, he is free!
Because we are short, he is free, he is free!
WOMEN:
You can't reach his dungeon door,
MEN:
Because we are short, he is free, he is free!
Little warders are we, he is free, he is free!
WOMEN:
He is free! He is free!
Little warders are ye!
ALL:
He is free! He is freeeeee!
Short-arsed warders are ye/we!
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