Spray on Smooth
A parody of the Lynx adverts of the time
Performed at the Summer Ball 2000, by assorted Old Soaks
Jeremy Davis: (In Voice-over accent)
New from Mainson Hoof, the latest in out long and successful line of perfume products for the descerning light opera performer – Spray on Smooth. Just look at the effect! Before, a meek young fresher:
Jo Taylor:
Yes, it's a green badge – I'll sleep with anyone but you!
Penny Richards:
I can't believe it! You know I'm allergic to taramasalata!
Matt Lees:
Have sex with you? I'd rather join the Drama society!
Jeremy:
But – with one simple application of smooth – he becomes a whoring old soak!
Jo:
No really, you're the best chairman ever! People always cry at committee meetings....
Penny:
That's the biggest maglite I've ever seen! Can we have sex?
Matt:
Yes of course you can stand in front of me. Your performance is so much better – the audience deserves to see you!
Jo:
You snogged her at the tarts party? Oh, well that's ok then....
Penny:
Yes, I'd love to come back to your room and see your collection of historic old programmes!
Matt:
I think you're right – Pirates was our best show ever.....
Jeremy:
Spray On Smooth from Maison Hoof! Get it now, and Get it now!
This product has not been tested on Shifty Nick. Any resemblance to George Dickeys living or dead is purely coincidental.
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